


Out of the Dark

by PinkAngel



Category: NCIS: New Orleans
Genre: F/M, Post-Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 22:32:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17292689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkAngel/pseuds/PinkAngel
Summary: This wasn't how she imagined her life turning out.





	1. Dark and Silent

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MeredithBrody](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeredithBrody/gifts).



> For MeredithBrody's birthday. It might not be 'fluff', but honestly at this point in our friendship you should expect the angst.

"You have to let me get some sleep."

Merri slid into the chair at the kitchen table and closed her eyes. Only the single light in the kitchen was on, the rest of the house dark and silent. She forced her eyes open again and stared at the dim light as it began to flicker. One of the two light bulbs that comprised the fixture had been out for months, and the other would bite the dust soon. She should have changed it a week ago. Her current condition made standing on a chair difficult though. 

_Thump_.

She sighed heavily and ran her hand over her ever-growing stomach. "We have to go to work tomorrow, you know."

Her voice echoed through the kitchen and was met by silence. She was used to silence. She had lived alone for so many years now that she wasn't sure how she would adjust to the noisy little creature that she would have to cohabitate with in three and a half months’ time.

Soon there would be two people in her tiny, shabby little apartment. Once upon a time she would have put a lot more effort into finding a place to live. She would have done research and looked at a couple dozen places before settling on somewhere to put her boxes of belongings. All the effort she put into house hunting, but rarely had she every unpacked her things. Storage units with beds. That's all she ever used them for. 

Until New Orleans. 

She'd finally unpacked. She'd found a _home_ , not just a house. After leaving all that behind, another storage unit hadn’t seemed all that important. She'd just picked a place that was affordable and in a half-decent neighborhood. There was barely enough room to walk around, but it served her needs. 

At least it had until four months after she had moved in, when she had finally put aside her denial enough to take a pregnancy test. Her little apartment had seemed so much smaller. The walls had closed in around her. The lack of furniture and bare walls stood out mockingly. Her own inability to be a normal, responsible adult had made her chest tighten. She didn't remember much else from that night. 

She knew, of course, who the father was. For a day or so all she could do was think about Russo, but it didn't match up. What it did match up to was her secret trip to New Orleans a month after resigning. She had just missed the city so much. Had missed _him_ so much. She hadn't intended for.... _things_ to happen.

_Thump. Thump_. 

Which was why she hadn't told him the result of her visit. It wasn't his responsibility, and she wasn't going to make things difficult for him. She hadn't seen or talked to him since, and had ignored the voicemails and emails he'd sent her. The last message he'd left on her phone was dated two weeks before she'd discovered the pregnancy. She still had the message saved on her phone. She thought that, one day, she might want her baby to hear his voice. 

" _I can take a hint, Meredith. I'll be here if you want to talk_."

Those were the last words she'd heard him say. The last she would probably ever hear him say. The only connection her daughter would ever have to her father. 

Except, of course, for her name. Cassie Emily Brody. Merri had decided on that just a few days ago while taking a statement from a young man whose father had been killed. It had been the closest thing to real police work she'd been able to do for the last month, ever since her supervisor had put her on desk duty. She supposed getting herself shot in the leg had been the final straw for her boss. Her partner had seemed deeply concerned about her lack of caring about how close she'd accidentally come to losing her life. 

No one questioned her though. No one invited themselves to her house or asked about baby names. They knew her as the cold corrections officer who kept everyone at arm's length. They took her cold shoulder and fake smile and returned them with indifference. Only her partner showed the barest hint of interest or concern. Her partner had her own problems though, and understood her aversion to forming close relationships with people she worked with. Once upon a time she would have thought it was a partnership made in heaven, but then she'd worked with Pride and LaSalle. 

A bitter smile crossed her face as she thought of them. Of Patton, Sebastian, Percy, and Loretta as well.  "I wish you could know them." She messaged her stomach to hopefully calm the squirming baby down. "You'd love them. Just like I do," she added in a whisper. 

_Thump_. _Thump_.

Merri closed her eyes again, pushed away the gnawing emotions, and stood up. She made her way back to the bedroom, feeling her way through the darkness. She didn't deserve the light. 


	2. An Old Face

"So...." A familiar British accent began behind her. "A bun in the oven, Agent Brody?"

Merri turned away from the coffee pot, one hand on her lower back and other clutching her yellow coffee mug. It was chipped, but she didn't have the heart to throw it out. "James," she breathed out in annoyance. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm working on...."

"In the break room, James. You're not an agent."

James smirked coyly in the maddening way he always did. "So you're not surprised I'm in the city?"

For the first time, she had known he was here before he'd known she was. Someone in the office had been talking about an annoying, but charming British journalist who wouldn't leave his case alone. She'd done well at avoiding him. Until now. 

"The break room is for agents only," she answered with a sip of coffee. It was nothing like Pride's chicory. She moved over to the table, favoring her leg only the slightest bit. The wound hadn't been that bad, but there had been some damage that would normally require physical therapy. She could personally attest to the uncomfortable quality of a physical therapy and pregnancy combination. 

James followed her every move. If he noticed the slight limp accompanying her pregnancy waddle, which she knew he probably did, he didn't mention it.  "Not going to kick me out?" he questioned. 

"Not in the kicking mood, and I left my gun in my desk," she added. 

James only smirked a little more. "Dinner tonight?"

She rolled her eyes and leveled him with a look he should know well by now. "James, I'm pregnant."

His brows creased and he made a show of looking her over. "You don't say? I never would have guessed. You hide it well, agent."

"We both know how dinner ends when it comes to us." She was suddenly immensely glad that none of her co-workers were in the room with them. 

"You can bring your....partner?"

She sipped the coffee while hoping he would leave. At the same time she didn't want him to. "Wouldn't be interested."

James walked forward and leaned his leg against the table. "Uh huh. So who's the lucky guy?" 

"There isn't one."

"Girl?"

"No."

"Adoption?"

She arched an eyebrow at his playful guessing. "No."

"In vitro?"

"James, stop."

"Oh, I see." He nodded absently, as if it all made sense now. "You're having an alien's baby."

She looked over the rim of her coffee mug. "Excuse me?"

"What is it? Vespiform? Goa'uld? You always seemed the Bajoran type to me, but...."

"What is it with you and Sebastian?" she blurted, suddenly reminded of Sebastian's insistence that she resembled a character from _Star Trek_. She never had gotten around to watching that with him. Another broken promise to her broken family. 

"Sebastian? Ah, right." James nodded again. "The forensic guy in New Orleans. I was there a few weeks back."

"Good case?" she asked nonchalantly while focusing on her coffee again. 

"No," he answered. "Just thought I'd drop by. Imagine my lack of surprise when you weren't there."

Well. Ouch. She covered the wince from the stinging jab with a long drink of coffee. "You should have known better."

"I should have. Odd. Me thinking you might have found people you like enough to settle down." He pushed off the table, and the legs screeched against the tiled floor. "They asked about you, by the way. I didn't have anything to tell them." 

He had tracked her down, she realized. He'd somehow traced her from Florida to Texas, and even managed to find a case to give him a reason to be here. "Do I need to get a restraining order?"

James smiled. "You like me too much for that. So, dinner tonight?"

She tapped her thumb against the rim of her mug. What did she have to lose, really? She was an adult. A responsible adult. Things with James didn't always have to end the same way.

"Alright," she answered. "Just dinner."

 


	3. Into the Light

Merri wiped some dust from her shoulder as she climbed down from the chair. A flick of the light switch, and the bulb glowed perfectly, dimmed only by the sunlight streaming through the kitchen window. With a satisfied smile she turned it off and re-entered the family room. It wasn't the largest place, but the lounge was almost as big as her entire previous apartment. 

She smiled amusedly at the sight of her infant daughter using a small toy hammer to bang on James' ankle. He made exaggerated faces as if in pain that only made her sociopathic daughter laugh gleefully. 

"Cassie, is James broken again?" she asked, slipping onto the floor with the two of them. 

The nine month old dropped the toy hammer, turned around, and stretched out her arms. Merri obliged and picked her up. Within seconds Cassie's little hand circled around a strand of her hair and she was instantly fascinated.  

Merri rubbed her back as she settled down. She smiled again when she felt James scoot closer to her side and place a kiss on Cassie's cheek. Her daughter yawned contentedly as her eyes began to close. Merri felt her head grow heavier against her shoulder as the little girl fell asleep. 

Whatever was going on with her and James was as undefined as ever, but she had no doubt whatsoever that he loved her daughter. Some days she wondered if he stuck around more for her or for her daughter. Cassie had him wrapped around her tiny little finger, and had since the day she was born. 

"I swear she becomes more like you every day," James said.

"Is that a complaint?" 

He rolled his eyes amusedly and kissed the corner of her lips. "Not yet," he answered. 

She held Cassie a little tighter and ran a hand over her soft locks of hair. To Merri, she was an exact replica of Dwayne. Her daughter might have her nose, but the eyes and hair were all Pride. 

"Merri...."

She hated when James used that tone. It meant he was broaching an important topic. She shot him a glare and hoped it would deter him. 

It didn't, as always. 

"You don't have to tell Pride that Cassie's his daughter," he stated. He brushed some hair out of her face, pulling a few strands from Cassie's hand in the process. "But you think about it all the time. You imagine him meeting her. You've been worried about him, and the others, ever since that bomb threat in New Orleans last month. We're just a few hours away. We could make it a weekend trip, and...."

"No, James."

"You still care about them."

"It's been over a year. I'm not...." She paused briefly, reminding herself that James was just trying to help. "I can't move on if I keep going back there."

"Maybe you shouldn't move on."

She pulled away from him, stood up, and walked slowly over the window while bouncing Cassie gently. She'd give anything for the baby to wake up right now though. "I don't need them."

"No, you don't." James walked up behind her, but turned and leaned against the wall next to the window so he could see her face. "You don't need me either."

She sighed and closed her eyes. "James...."

"But you let me live here, let me be a part of yours and Cassie's lives, and put up with me having to go away once a month. I think it has worked out pretty well."

"It has," she agreed. Things had worked out better than she had ever thought they would. She was happy and content, even if she did still feel something...missing from their lives. Something other than Emily for once.

James leaned forward and kissed her cheek as he ran a hand over Cassie's curls. "I love you. I love Cassie. I want you both to be happy. Think about it, okay?"

She nodded and leaned her cheek against Cassie's head. She wasn’t sure when James had become the more mature adult between the two of them. "I'll consider it."

It was more of a concession than she'd made thus far. James recognized that fact, and let it go for the time being. She'd think about it. 

Maybe one day she would return home. 

For now, what she had was pretty great. 

 


End file.
